One way I spoke up that wasn’t too scary, was by
writing Google reviews. (My younger years taught me
that telling the truth meant getting in trouble so,
if I have concerns, I still take steps to feel
safe by using a different Gmail address). Plus:
you can write them right on your phone!
You’ll notice that at no time did I use name-calling.
I strove to be factual and point out what is not
working; please do not use G reviews to slam,
If all you can do at first is publish ‘nice’ stuff,
do it! Just get going and practice, practice,
practice. The goal is to eventually get to the point at
which you can set boundaries in person, without guilt
nor as much anxiety; you will decide to no longer
(Side note: Have I mentioned before that, soon
after peri-menopause begins, you’ll have all
the hormones you need to do this? The first time
it happens, words will come flying out of your mouth
before you grab and put them back in. Your heart
will pound for 30 solid minutes because you can’t
believe you just said what you said! The second time,
you won’t be as shocked by yourself and your
sweet heart will only do the bass drum dance for
10 minutes…Terrifying but glorious! Tell me in the
comments about your first time!)
“No thanks. I am not going to help you anymore.”
“I think the green one matches better.”
“That doesn’t work for me. What can we figure
out that will work for both of us?”
“Would it be possible for you to use a different
tone of voice? No? Then I’ll see you when you
can.” [Get up and leave! Don’t put up with that!]
“No, we’re not going to the park.” (It’s a child’s
job to push a boundary, over and over and over.
Remain calm and repeat when necessary, like a robot.
[Remember from childhood: “This is a recording”?]
Make a game out of it, to yourself, and count
each repetition before you say it again. ‘6.’ “You
may play outside as soon as you put up the Legos.”
… ‘7.’ “You may….”)
In an upcoming video / transcript, I give an exmaple
about the in-person version: I stood up / spoke up
for a convenience store cashier when her boss
reprimanded her loudly in front of customers
(later, to myself, I mused that sometimes it
feels easier to speak up for someone else than
Behold, six reviews:
Oklahoma Library Branch
“Great space”, from an earlier review is right:
this is a modern, clean, beautiful facility
(the ladies’ room is a stunning fusion of
homey and high-tech).
There are zillions of computers to use.
Super comfy chairs in several sitting areas.
Here’s my view today:
I almost had a meltdown about the sculpture
in front; Kirsten at the Adults Info desk
(it’s obvious that she loves her job) was
happy to email me articles about it…
In summer, the focus seems largely upon kids
and reading – which is of course, fantastic –
yet here, they’re having a drawing for a
gift basket – with some reeeeeally cool stuff! –
for every individual that reads, listens, etc.,
to achieve a total of 1000 points!
Libraries are some of my favorite places;
this particular House-Of-Wayyyy-More-Than-Books
is an excellent one!
STAY HERE! THIS IS THE PLACE!! BEST DEAL
EVER: only $73 for one person! It’s worth
the 2-hour drive north (unless you want
to spend $150 or more in S.F. and listen
to traffic all night…).
Updated, modern, well-designed, CLEAN,
Dish TV, nice scent. Aesthetically pleasing
decor with brick red blackout curtains,
deep orange accent wall and Jetsons’
sunshine yellow bath cabinet give visual pep.
Every area has its own lighting (including
a mini, padded-booth seating section that
serves as a dining area, desk or setting
for board game play). Shelving and plugs
Laminate floors eased my mind; such cuts
way down on places that tiny creatures can
hide and wait (I took the bed apart before
I carried anything in – spotless!).
The A/C worked very well and blocked out
97% of the noise plus, my fellow lodgers
were thoughtful and quiet. I DID hear the
guest above me (it’s an old building,
people!) yet only for a few minutes.
My room featured a microwave and small
fridge; absence of coffee pot and blow dryer
help keep prices down, yet, I was told by
the VERY NICE front desk lady Bria to just
ask if you’d like either.
As if the preceding weren’t enough: it’s a
75-second stroll to convenience store or
Taco Bell and 2-minute walk to Starbucks!
INCREDIBLE VALUE!!! Highly, highly recommend!
Amazing! Go here! (tucked away behind
Wgreens and Papa John’s)
The people are so welcoming.
At least 16 choices and 2 desserts. 4-6
condiments AND chai masala tea are included!
The noontime samosas are tiny and delicious;
two items I’d never seen before: spinach
chicken and onion pakoras (omg!).
Scrumptious and original variation of
raita (yogurt sauce). Chicken tikki masala
melts in your mouth (no cheap chicken here!).
The pappad (crispy wafer bread) was delicate,
delectable, best I’ve ever tasted. The
freshly-made naan was slightly charred (mmmmmm).
Enjoying these culinary gems in my heated
car on a chilly day while listening to
FunAsia 104.9 = SCORE!
Book 1: When you’re SERIOUSLY ready to
ROCK YOUR LIFE! (easier than you think!)
BRILLIANT BRILLIANT BRILLIANT! Like David,
I ‘downloaded [it] for later’ years ago and
am finally reading it today… you wrote it
so I could GET it (!): stories, examples,
diagrams! GOSH, what a GREAT WAY to TEACH these
steps! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!!
Omg… just finished, tears streaming down my
face… I have read self-help book after book,
gone to therapy, listened to teleseminar after
webinar, talked at lennnnngth with friend after
friend, journaled for decades (and I’m thankful
for every bit of it(!), yet NOTHING, nothing
helped to unlock me – and aid my understanding
of why I still haven’t accomplished my hundreds
of dreams – like this miraculous document you
My deepest, most heartfelt gratitude to the author
for publishing it!!!
Book 2: THIS IS THE ONE!
OMG! I’ve only read half the book and I’m
already ROCKIN’! Jim explains things in such
straight-forward language, as if you’re his
good friend; I woke RIGHT UP and did what he
does! It’s SO EASY and no agony (which has
never happened in my entire “I’m-gonna-write-
LIFE!). $2.99? It’s worth 1000s of times that
price. Buy it and get on your way to becoming
the author you are!!!!
Book 3: A Riveting Story of Hope
I couldn’t stop reading! Well-written, this
detailed account (graphic in places) is
horrifying but necessary to underscore the
miracle of her healing. It definitely brought
up some of my own issues… If you’ve experienced
trauma, I highly recommend this book. If you
haven’t experienced trauma, I also recommend it,
to get an understanding of what some people
have been through. I heartily applaud Jennifer’s
courage in telling her story.
© LadyBossLifeCoach Hil 2019