6 dec 16, 133p

Between Abraham-Hicks and Derek Rydall, I am reminded that I am my own source!

One example is in the video I made in the Dallas airport: I was rushing around, stressing out, getting ready to go to the OKC airport. I noticed it and didn’t like how I was feeling. “What do I expect to feel when I finally get there?” I asked myself. “I will give myself permission at that point to feel calm, happy, excited… the heck with that! I want to feel that now!” So I did!

I used to make these – and everything else outside of me – my sources of happiness / satisfaction:

• If my face looked ‘good’ in the bathroom mirror
• If I found myself in a visually pleasing neighborhood (mine isn’t)
• If I had money in my pocket and/or in the bank
• If I had a guy to flirt with
• If I got a text from my friends
• If my pants fit
• If the people I encountered during the day – friends and strangers – were respectful, nice, positive, etc. (And when they weren’t, OH! I was a ‘crappy creator’, judgmental, affected, etc.)

It was SO EMPOWERING to see this! It was great to look inside myself for

• happiness
• peace
• satisfaction

Things flowed! Project work – that I used to have to force and guilt-trip myself to do – just flowed out of me, naturally, easily and with joy.

Nothing outside you can make you happy, nothing outside you can make you sad! Yes, you can enjoy EVERY- and anything but none of those things can disrupt you anymore, because you’re no longer giving your power away. YEY!

This is not about being ‘positive’ in the face of x, y or z. It’s about being SO FILLED UP with your own happiness and joy that nothing outside affects you one way or the other. It’s about accepting whatever happens outside of you as just being what it is.

An old fable I once heard:

There was an old man who lived on the outskirts of town. One day the townspeople showed up with a young woman and said, “She says you’re the father of her child.”

“Is that so?” he asked.

“Yes!” they said. “And you have to take care of the baby.”

“Is that so? he asked. And he did.

A few months later, the townspeople showed up again. “She says she lied and you’re not the father and she wants the child back.”

Guess his response…

What I get out of this story: the man went with the flow. He was neither happy nor upset and eventually, things resolved themselves without him doing anything but being accepting (although, as a mother, I felt a pange of sadness at the thought that he would miss the little one).

Speaking of feelings: this is also not about NOT feeling your feelings! Feel them! (Even ‘negative’ emotions are not able to capsize you, if you let them be what they are…) Ask yourself what the feelings are trying to tell you! Two days ago, I was in a snit like I haven’t had in weeks (and I let myself totally be in it! I accepted that I was upset!). I finally stopped, got quiet and saw that I had given SO MUCH of my power away to outside circumstances; I had made them my source. I took it all back and felt very differently. (Notice that I accepted and felt my stuff first before looking. 🙂 )

You can look at things without making yourself wrong or drumming up feelings of yuck. For example, just now it occurred to me that lately, I have found myself with people who are negative and victim-y… they go onnnn and onnnn and onnnnn… I started to think about what that is a reflection of yet, without telling myself I was doing anything wrong, without getting depressed… because I am no longer making ‘if I attract good things to myself, I’m worthy’ my source!..

Mwah! And Merry Christmas!