Much of the time, all we need
is permission from ourselves.

For example, today, I want to
be completely silent. I am
horrifically burned out on
talking and listening; I have
been afraid for the last
several days to tell a person –
with whom I spend a ton of
time – that I want to be
in my own head. By today,
I was beyond where I’d be
had I just expressed my truth
when I first felt it. I was
afraid because this person
is helping me; I felt guilty
about walking away and
obligated to sit there…

Today, I listened very care-
fully to myself and made up
my mind to honor how I feel.
I planned out what I will
say when I see that person,
whom has a lot to say. I gave
myself 100% permission to be
in my own world. (Have you seen
that t-shirt? “I’m in my own
world, but it’s okay: they know
me here.”) I decided that if the
person stops helping me, that
I will figure out something
else. After making the de-
cision, I felt GREAT! …
Flash forward one hour: now
that I allowed myself the
space to be absolutely
authentic, I actually may
desire to talk to that
person for a few minutes.

Because I allowed myself to
go all the way to the left,
I was able to come back to
the middle, feel appreciation
and look forward to seeing
and listening to my friend
when the time comes.

Give yourself per-MISSION!
Per… mission, as in, as
per; as in, for each mission!

As per this life mission, give
your permission to

* ‘laze’, stay home from work
* eat a gallon of ice cream
* tell someone off
* pack up and move
* do something you’ve never
done before.

Even if you don’t physically
do any of the things you’re
deciding you’re *allowed* to
and can do if you wish, you
will experience the feeling
of doing them and in many
cases – at least for myself –
it is enough!

So, I’m giving you permission
to give your beautiful self
permission!!!!

One way I spoke up that wasn’t too scary, was by
writing Google reviews. (My younger years taught me
that telling the truth meant getting in trouble so,
if I have concerns, I still take steps to feel
safe by using a different Gmail address). Plus:
you can write them right on your phone!

You’ll notice that at no time did I use name-calling.
I strove to be factual and point out what is not
working; please do not use G reviews to slam,
slander, etc.

If all you can do at first is publish ‘nice’ stuff,
do it! Just get going and practice, practice,
practice. The goal is to eventually get to the point at
which you can set boundaries in person, without guilt
nor as much anxiety; you will decide to no longer
suffer silently!

(Side note: Have I mentioned before that, soon
after peri-menopause begins, you’ll have all
the hormones you need to do this? The first time
it happens, words will come flying out of your mouth
before you grab and put them back in. Your heart
will pound for 30 solid minutes because you can’t
believe you just said what you said! The second time,
you won’t be as shocked by yourself and your
sweet heart will only do the bass drum dance for
10 minutes…Terrifying but glorious! Tell me in the
comments about your first time!)

“No thanks. I am not going to help you anymore.”

“I think the green one matches better.”

“That doesn’t work for me. What can we figure
out that will work for both of us?”

“Would it be possible for you to use a different
tone of voice? No? Then I’ll see you when you
can.” [Get up and leave! Don’t put up with that!]

“No, we’re not going to the park.” (It’s a child’s
job to push a boundary, over and over and over.
Remain calm and repeat when necessary, like a robot.
[Remember from childhood: “This is a recording”?]
Make a game out of it, to yourself, and count
each repetition before you say it again. ‘6.’ “You
may play outside as soon as you put up the Legos.”
… ‘7.’ “You may….”)

In an upcoming video / transcript, I give an exmaple
about the in-person version: I stood up / spoke up
for a convenience store cashier when her boss
reprimanded her loudly in front of customers
(later, to myself, I mused that sometimes it
feels easier to speak up for someone else than
for ourselves…).

Behold, six reviews:

Oklahoma Library Branch

“Great space”, from an earlier review is right:
this is a modern, clean, beautiful facility
(the ladies’ room is a stunning fusion of
homey and high-tech).

There are zillions of computers to use.

Super comfy chairs in several sitting areas.
Here’s my view today:

I almost had a meltdown about the sculpture
in front; Kirsten at the Adults Info desk
(it’s obvious that she loves her job) was
happy to email me articles about it…
In summer, the focus seems largely upon kids
and reading – which is of course, fantastic –
yet here, they’re having a drawing for a
gift basket – with some reeeeeally cool stuff! –
for every individual that reads, listens, etc.,
to achieve a total of 1000 points!

Libraries are some of my favorite places;
this particular House-Of-Wayyyy-More-Than-Books
is an excellent one!

California Motel

STAY HERE! THIS IS THE PLACE!! BEST DEAL
EVER: only $73 for one person! It’s worth
the 2-hour drive north (unless you want
to spend $150 or more in S.F. and listen
to traffic all night…).

Updated, modern, well-designed, CLEAN,
Dish TV, nice scent. Aesthetically pleasing
decor with brick red blackout curtains,
deep orange accent wall and Jetsons’
sunshine yellow bath cabinet give visual pep.

Every area has its own lighting (including
a mini, padded-booth seating section that
serves as a dining area, desk or setting
for board game play). Shelving and plugs
abound.

Laminate floors eased my mind; such cuts
way down on places that tiny creatures can
hide and wait (I took the bed apart before
I carried anything in – spotless!).

The A/C worked very well and blocked out
97% of the noise plus, my fellow lodgers
were thoughtful and quiet. I DID hear the
guest above me (it’s an old building,
people!) yet only for a few minutes.

My room featured a microwave and small
fridge; absence of coffee pot and blow dryer
help keep prices down, yet, I was told by
the VERY NICE front desk lady Bria to just
ask if you’d like either.

As if the preceding weren’t enough: it’s a
75-second stroll to convenience store or
Taco Bell and 2-minute walk to Starbucks!

INCREDIBLE VALUE!!! Highly, highly recommend!

Dallas restaurant:

Amazing! Go here! (tucked away behind
Wgreens and Papa John’s)

The people are so welcoming.

At least 16 choices and 2 desserts. 4-6
condiments AND chai masala tea are included!

The noontime samosas are tiny and delicious;
two items I’d never seen before: spinach
chicken and onion pakoras (omg!).

Scrumptious and original variation of
raita (yogurt sauce). Chicken tikki masala
melts in your mouth (no cheap chicken here!).

The pappad (crispy wafer bread) was delicate,
delectable, best I’ve ever tasted. The
freshly-made naan was slightly charred (mmmmmm).

Enjoying these culinary gems in my heated
car on a chilly day while listening to
FunAsia 104.9 = SCORE!

Book 1: When you’re SERIOUSLY ready to
ROCK YOUR LIFE! (easier than you think!)

BRILLIANT BRILLIANT BRILLIANT! Like David,
I ‘downloaded [it] for later’ years ago and
am finally reading it today… you wrote it
so I could GET it (!): stories, examples,
diagrams! GOSH, what a GREAT WAY to TEACH these
steps! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!!

Omg… just finished, tears streaming down my
face… I have read self-help book after book,
gone to therapy, listened to teleseminar after
webinar, talked at lennnnngth with friend after
friend, journaled for decades (and I’m thankful
for every bit of it(!), yet NOTHING, nothing
helped to unlock me – and aid my understanding
of why I still haven’t accomplished my hundreds
of dreams – like this miraculous document you
penned.

My deepest, most heartfelt gratitude to the author
for publishing it!!!

Book 2: THIS IS THE ONE!

OMG! I’ve only read half the book and I’m
already ROCKIN’! Jim explains things in such
straight-forward language, as if you’re his
good friend; I woke RIGHT UP and did what he
does! It’s SO EASY and no agony (which has
never happened in my entire “I’m-gonna-write-
all-these-books-I-really-swear”-yet-I-never-do
LIFE!). $2.99? It’s worth 1000s of times that
price. Buy it and get on your way to becoming
the author you are!!!!

Book 3: A Riveting Story of Hope

I couldn’t stop reading! Well-written, this
detailed account (graphic in places) is
horrifying but necessary to underscore the
miracle of her healing. It definitely brought
up some of my own issues… If you’ve experienced
trauma, I highly recommend this book. If you
haven’t experienced trauma, I also recommend it,
to get an understanding of what some people
have been through. I heartily applaud Jennifer’s
courage in telling her story.

© LadyBossLifeCoach Hil 2019

“But don’t I want people to like me?!”
you’re wondering.

YES, in the context of the know/like/trust
paradigm.

NO, in the sense of kiss-up, contrived,
patronizing, phoney.

I want my tribe to relate, respect and see
me as an expert; not to like a fake version
of me (also, if you start out as a ‘persona’,
it gets harder and harder to go back to the
genuine you!).

Your clients and potential clients are not
seeking a FRIEND; they are seeking a
go-to person whom they can trust to solve
their problems or challenges.

They want the straight truth, as quickly
as they can get it from you.

They want their issue solved as soon as
possible; mostly, they aren’t looking to
feel warm and fuzzy until after the
issue is handled!

These are busy people with booked-up schedules.

Think about it, Lady Boss: you have chosen the
same; you’re watching (or reading) me because
you want to learn to speak confidently in your
business, marketing and life. I’m sure you
enjoy my occasional humor yet, your focus is
how to Speak Up Now and Rock Your Online Videos!
This desire to improve and/or change something
is the same one *your* people have…

Be someone they respect and to whom they can
relate.

Be someone from whom they can get help.

Let them see who you *really* are from the
very first frame of your first video.

Earn their trust by being consistent.

If they grow to like you, great. If not, rest
assured that they aren’t your ideal client.

Love you, Shugers! – LBLC Hil

© LadyBossLifeCoach Hil 2019

(To see this, click here: https://youtu.be/jr46ENJMvTo)

So I’m cruisin’ along in traffic and I realized that womanSpeakUpNow is not only about speaking up to others (like i did yesterday to the C-store cashier’s boss: “[When you correct her, you need to do it in private.]”), it’s also about speaking up to yourself. I’m finding out that i don’t always have to tell someone off [wSUN is *not* about telling people off (!); it’s saying what’s really real for you and having the courage – even though the person might not like you – to say what IS, politely (and maybe passionately), without name-calling or blaming]. I don’t always have to go, “[gritch, gritch, gritch]” but if I give myself permission and acknowledge to myself what I’m feeling – and what I could say but I don’t have to – a lotta times, that’s enough.

wSUN includes getting really real with yourself about others and getting really real with yourself about yourself. My example: what’s really real for me right now is that I want to share so much that I’ve learned. I want [to help] every woman that I can find to have the courage to speak up and tell her truth. Do you or she wanna start a business? Do you wanna change careers? What is it that’s really real for you? Do you wanna take an art class? Do you wanna go play soccer for an adult women’s soccer team? What’s really real for you?

Speak up now, honey. If you’re thinking, “But, Hil, I can’t say that [to someone]”, okay fine. You may not be able to say that to whomever – her, him, them – but you CAN say it to yourself, to start with… Alright, love you. Have a GREAT DAY! Bye.

#womanSpeakUpNow #wSUN

See the video here: https://youtu.be/I3Kb68yJbzI

Getting What You Want!
When it comes to giving your order,
Mickey D’s and the Universe are the same!
Here’s how to get what you want!

More LadyBossLifeCoach videos,
madcap adventures and hot flashes:
subscribe or go to
http://www.ladybosslifecoach.com
Twitter: @LadyBossLifeCch

When we tell the Universe, “This is my dream. This is my vision. THIS is what I want!” (that we wanna be an artist, a Lady Boss, whatever…); when we decide to do something great and meaningful, the voices start up:

“I’m nobody… just little Tammy from Muskogee.”
“That will never work.”
“If I take all the steps and do all that work, and then it doesn’t work… Dude! That will be such a waste of my time.”
“People are gonna laugh and say I am crazy.”
“I’m not good enough.”
“I don’t know enough.”
“Who do yew thank yew are, shuger?”
“Yeah, it’s what I wanna do but I can never make money doin’ it…”

But! When we go to McDonald’s and put in our order for a Big Mac –“we’ve all done it, shuger, so don’t act like ya haven’t…” – we do not say,
“What if they run outta buns? What if they forget the pickles? They’re not gonna make my sandwich; they’ll put too much special sauce on… What am I doing here? Who am I to be having a Big Mac?!”

We do not say any of that. We tell the cashier what we want and we expect the people to give it to us exactly how we ordered it. If we stop the employees and say, “Wait! Wait… no, hold on: I don’t want the Big Mac. I want the Fish Filet. Ok, no tartar sau- ok, maybe a little tartar sauce- and I want the French fries…well…do I want the Fish Filet?”

If we change our minds and go back and forth, they can’t give us what we ask for.

Guess what? The Universe is exactly the same: if we put our order in and get quiet, it comes. All we have to do is be hands off. It comes, including opportunities to clear whatever stands between you and what you said you wanted. Sometimes [this] includes deep feelings of anger and sorrow. Embrace [them], they’ll dissolve in five minutes and you’ll go to the next level of clearing (but that’s another video…).
The minute you say, “This is who I choose to be; this is what I want,” the Universe goes to work to make it happen! If you’re led to take steps and you won’t do it; if we say, “Well, yeah… no…”, you’re saying, “No, I really don’t want it, I just said I did but I really don’t…”, you’re not meeting God halfway. God/the Universe does not judge. He/it just says, “Okay. As you wish.”

So what can you do? Decide, one hundred percent, even if it feels really scary to do it. If you have the dream or idea, there’s a reason. Decide, 100%, even if it seems impossible. Then, feel the feeling of the thing already having happened, i.e., friends are inviting you to parties, how proud you feel that it’s done. Feel feel feel feel, and hold that [feeling] as long as you can. During the day, stop and just feeeel. Feel that feeling even when the voices are [naysaying], like we already saw today. Feel the feeling of that two-week vacation in Italy that you’ve earned, you got ‘er done, everything’s coming together now and you have the money to go to Italy.

Feel it and forget it. Take the steps you’re led to take. Go ahead and argue and fuss and do it anyway. Trust the Universe to know what it’s doing, to see the bigger picture, to know things you have no way of knowing. Let go, let God, take the steps you’re led to take and know that your order is being prepared right now.

Please like it if you like it. Please share it if you got anything out of it and I’ll see you next time.